Dear Confused Graduate,
There must be something in the water, because I've had a TON of girls email me with this question: how do I get over someone? Seeing as this is something I have a bit of experience with myself, I'm going to lay it out for y'all.
There must be something in the water, because I've had a TON of girls email me with this question: how do I get over someone? Seeing as this is something I have a bit of experience with myself, I'm going to lay it out for y'all.
Do you want the good news or bad news first? Bad news? What, you're a glutton for punishment? Okay, buckle up.
You know that annoying cliche about how time heals all wounds? Well, it's true. The biggest thing that will help you get over someone is just the passing of every day. You can eat a lot of ice cream, write bad poetry, listen to sad songs, and grow your bangs so long no one sees your face, but I once read that it takes six months to really start to get over someone. It's definitely been true in my life, every time. Why six? No clue. But it's true.
So you need to get your butt to the six-month mark. I would bet my dog that in six months you won't feel the way you do right now. And I love my dog, people. I love my dog.
The good news: It's not always going to feel as bad as it does right now. For serious. You won't even have to wait six months for that. If you're having a really horrible day, the kind where your skin is burning with how much you miss and want and can't live without this person, keep telling yourself this: it won't always feel like this. It won't always feel like this. And it won't. Promise.
Here's some more good news: you've got a lot of energy right now. You probably don't realize it, because you're channeling it all into obsessing about this person. So take the energy and use it to try something new. Cooking? Running? Glass blowing?
My worst getting-over experience led me to start playing tennis. The sport introduced me to new people, got those exercise endorphins flowing so I felt better, and made me a little happier during a dark time. The next time you want to mope, or make a collage of every picture you have of this person, stop. What else could you be doing right now?
Finally, remember this: right now, it feels like there will never be another person like this one - who will like or love you, who you will like or love back. I get it. I've been there. But I'm old enough to tell you it's not true, and know that I'm right. Yes, even you (no matter how much of a freak you think you are, trust me on this) will find someone else. It's not that different from a friend divorce. After you split with a friend, you almost always make a new one. That's how it goes in romance when you're young.
So hang in there by getting out there and doing something. This will end, and you will be okay.
You know that annoying cliche about how time heals all wounds? Well, it's true. The biggest thing that will help you get over someone is just the passing of every day. You can eat a lot of ice cream, write bad poetry, listen to sad songs, and grow your bangs so long no one sees your face, but I once read that it takes six months to really start to get over someone. It's definitely been true in my life, every time. Why six? No clue. But it's true.
So you need to get your butt to the six-month mark. I would bet my dog that in six months you won't feel the way you do right now. And I love my dog, people. I love my dog.
The good news: It's not always going to feel as bad as it does right now. For serious. You won't even have to wait six months for that. If you're having a really horrible day, the kind where your skin is burning with how much you miss and want and can't live without this person, keep telling yourself this: it won't always feel like this. It won't always feel like this. And it won't. Promise.
Here's some more good news: you've got a lot of energy right now. You probably don't realize it, because you're channeling it all into obsessing about this person. So take the energy and use it to try something new. Cooking? Running? Glass blowing?
My worst getting-over experience led me to start playing tennis. The sport introduced me to new people, got those exercise endorphins flowing so I felt better, and made me a little happier during a dark time. The next time you want to mope, or make a collage of every picture you have of this person, stop. What else could you be doing right now?
Finally, remember this: right now, it feels like there will never be another person like this one - who will like or love you, who you will like or love back. I get it. I've been there. But I'm old enough to tell you it's not true, and know that I'm right. Yes, even you (no matter how much of a freak you think you are, trust me on this) will find someone else. It's not that different from a friend divorce. After you split with a friend, you almost always make a new one. That's how it goes in romance when you're young.
So hang in there by getting out there and doing something. This will end, and you will be okay.
