tell me how to control your anger of whoremones when you know exactly you're on PMS

ngeliat status facebook temen "tell me, what money can't buy?"
terus temennya nyaut gw urutin aja ya

1.money can never buy me sleep ~ money can buy u pills
2.money can buy u life even ur pride
3.uang gabisa beli penyakit? ~ yabisa lah lo beli aja rokok bir nyandu2 lu sakit deh penyakitan lu
4.And also, money can buy God, Religion, war & peace on earth. ~ they only sell their religion before they teach it. true story.
5.money can't buy family~ sure money can buy you family. you give your friends your money, he'll be your bestfriend before be your brother. you can give your girlfriend your money, make her pregnant, have a baby. family. dan jaman sekarang ekonomi jelek makin rentan sama kriminalitas ancur dah tu keluarga
6.money can't buy time ~ money can buy time. "Sir, can I take your time?", "Sorry I'm busy. Call me later". Time.

and so on so on..............

menurut gw pribadi gw setuju sama mba nike ardilla "dunia ini penuh panggung sandiwara" #loh #ganyambs

yaudah intinya.. harus bersyukur sama biasain ngucapin Alhamdulillah. bersyukur sama apa yang lo punya. semoga apa yang kita punya dan kita raih selama ini dari jalan yang halal ye. amin

Father and The Bride Gossip Girl S05E12

Beatrice : Can I ask you a question?

Blair: Anything.

Beatrice: Why are you marrying my brother when I know you're not in love with him?

Blair: I do love him,There might be some loves that seem... bigger than others or
more complicated or...harder to let go of but, there's a reason they're not meant to be.

Beatrice: You cannot choose who you love.

Blair: But you can choose how you love them. And there are some people you can only love by not being with them.





Serena: Chuck, you need to leave now.

Chuck: I don't know what it is you think I did tonight, but all I care about is her.

Serena: Blair's asleep, okay? And even if she wasn't, she-- she wouldn't wanna see you anyway.

Chuck: Tell her I came by... And that I'm not done. That's one thing I learned from Blair..........You don't give up on the people you love.

i want to travel around the world alone and i want the first place to start it is Bali. poorly, my parents won't ever let their not too little and not too big daughter leave them. for going alone. why? i think is GOOD. meet the strangers see new things experience something. ok they think i'm insane. i need some me-space built some circles.

kenapa hal yang terjadi di lingkungan sekitar gw hal yang terjadi gitu-gitu aja ya, kalo ga soal cinta-cintaan ya galau ya material ya tentang kuliah-kuliahan iyasih gw juga lagi masi dalam euphoria soal kuliah-kuliahan lingkungan baru dan gw jg termasuk orang yang berkutat dengan hal-hal itu, ya tapi tetep aja orang-orang disekitar gw yang gue liat ga jauh-jauh dari hal-hal diatas.. pengen deh ngelakuin sesuatu yang ga cuma gini-gini aja. pengen ngeliat sesuatu yang beda..gw pengen jadi something, kebanyakan orang ngeluh di twitter tentang hidup mereka..susah bgt sih ngomong "Alhamdulillah" lagi susah juga harusnya ngomong Alhamdullah i'm not naive. ok I'VE BEEN THERE, I'VE BEEN IN THEIR POSITION. dulu gw selalu ngeluh ngeluh skrg juga sih, tapi mudah2an dalam proses menuju orang yang lebih baik. AMIN tapi makin kesini gw makin ngeliat makin ngerasa kalo ternyata masi banyak orang yang lebih susah dari gw, dan masi banyak pula orang-orang di atas gw. yaps that's life.

emang sih manusiawi kesel iri ngeluh. gue juga ko masi belajar buat yang namanya bener-bener bersyukur,itu juga hak-hak lo semua nulis begituan di twitter dan media social lainnya.i wont bother ur bussiness neither, except you interfere mine. ya cuman pengen komentar ajasih. masih banyak orang diluar sana yang struggle buat makan buat dapat pendidikan, gw lebih simpatik sama orang-orang yang masih berjuang buat nyari duit daripada minta-minta.. apalagi yang minta gendong-gendong anak atau nyuruh anak kecil buat minta-minta. padahal lo dikasi anggota tubuh yang lengkap buat kerja. rasullullah juga bilang "tangan diatas lebih baik daripada tangan memberi".
gw ngomong gini, gw juga masi belum jadi manusia yang bener ko. gw masih suka hedon,masi ngandelin orangtua buat hidup, diatas langit masih ada langit. banyak bgt temen-temen gw atau orang yang gw taulah ya ekonominya diatas gw. tapi heran aja gitu kerjaanya ngeluh terus, nelantarin kuliah bilang ini-itu ga adil bilang "money can't buy happiness" padahal kebahagian itu kan diri kita sendiri, gimana pandangan kita sama hidup. gatau aja diluar sana masih ada orang yang lagi galau besok ngasi makan apa ke anaknya ke keluarganya,

hahaha ngomong2 soal galau gw juga masi suka galau ko. cuman gw gamau rasa galau itu ngalahin rasa bersyukur ke Allah.

galau akademik? marah-marah kenapa remed terus kenapa nilai jelek.?? yaudah deal with that cari tau apa yang salah.? do something instead whining. BELAJAR BELAJAR karena sesunguhnya manusia itu berkewajiban untuk belajar seumur hidup hukumnya di islam aja WAJIB berilmu, bagi yang sehat mental dan fisik


galau cinta? yaelah gw aja udah kebal udah ga peduli lagi, percaya aja lagi sama Allah.. semua orang ada jodohnya, intinya tuh ya cewek cowok sama aja. balik aja terus ke siklus yang sama,jangan terlalu terlarut dalam sedih. gw pernah ngalamin itu dan hasilnya cuman nyakitin diri sendiri dan berakhir pathetic. bangun hubungan yang bener dulu sama yang di Atas. kan hablumminnAllah hablumminannnas. dan inget jangan terlalu ngasi hati lo sama kepercayaan lo 100% sama orang kecuali sama keluarga inti, cause the truth is everyone will hurt you. no matter what. people grow,people learn and go. hidup itu meninggalkan dan ditinggalkan, itu hukum alam. sayangin keluarga lo bangun hubungan yang indah, bersyukur. eman sih ngomong gampang. tapi mau gimana coba? lo gabakal bisa maksain kehendak dan perasaan orang bagi yang cintanya bertepuk sebelah tangan, bagi yang diputusin bagi yang ditinggalin. mau gamau ya life's must go on. simpan sedih lo terus curhat sama Allah. karena Dia yang paling ngerti perasaan lo..gpp sih di twitter. tapi lo mau dikasihanin orang? gw pernah ngalamin itu dan hasilnya sampe skrg image "galau" masi di gw. sebel bgt rasanya dibilang gitu kesannya gw lemah bgt. kesannya gw galau all the time apa yang gw post di twitter selalu dikaitkan dengan GALAU CINTA GALAU MANTAN apalah itu padahal ga semua kaya gitu kan, tapi ga heran karena gw dulu orang yang seperti itu, orang yang memang terlihat seperti "ingin dikasihani" liat aja posting2 blog gw ini. dan gw gamau ngapus semua hal-hal yang terjadi di masa lalu gw. ini semua buat jadi pelajar buat jadi reminder gw. gw pernah jadi orang yang seperti itu dan gamau kaya gitu lagi Ya Allah gamau bgt ngalamin masa-masa kelam itu lagi. waktu itu seharian gw mikir bgt semikirnya "apa gw mau jadi orang yang terpuruk dalam harapan semu?" "apa gw gabakal berubah?" "apa gw bakal terus disini-sini aja" gw harus berubah gw harus maju! pelan-pelan. there's nothing you can do to forget your past the only way is just GET OVER IT. time will heal everything ko.


galau apalagi? tahan aja semua rasa galau itu Allah yang sedih Allah juga yang ngasih bahagia. dulu waktu hati gw disakitin sama orang yang bener-bener gw sayang, waktu gw masih bego. masih naif masih mikir semua orang baik waktu gw lagi bener-bener dibawah doa gw setiap hari pas shubuh sama isya sebelum tidur gitu tuh " Ya Allah engkau yang memberikan rasa sedih engkau pula yang memberikan rasa bahagia" tenang aja roda kehidupan berputar ko, kalo lo ngerasa dibawah terus. lo harus tetep bersyukur. Allah lebih tau mana yang lebih baik buat lo. ibaratnya kita tuh lebih kecil dibanding bakteri yang semikronano bah lebih kecil lagi ga ada apa2nya malahan. dibanding Sang Pencipta.
jadi tenang aja.. santai aja. pengadilan Allah lebih adil ko
semoga gw dan kita bersama bisa pelan-pelan bisa ngerasa "cukup" dimulai dengan kata "Alhamdulillah"


udah ya cape. semoga ada manfaatnya. tapi dengan tulisan gw diatas bukan berarti gw orang yang udah bener. gw juga masih belajar masih suka ngeluh juga ko :")

2012

been so long not writing... pretty late but HAPPPPY NEWWW YEAR 2012 !! i dont know i'm just soooo excited hmm 2012 why people talk about doomsday?? no one knows exactly about that it's clearly written in alqur-an tau !! ga ada yang tau kecuali yang diatass !!but Allah please not this year.. i put so much hope in this year.. at least please let my parents see me become a doctor and have a happy family first..

2011 isn't really my year haha LOL.. but i make it through the first step to goal of my life "FKG UNPAD". wohooo HAMDALAH i think that's the present that God give to me in the end of year.. but stil this just only the beginning.. i have a long long journeyy !! though it was a gloomy year, but that year i learn everything i learn more people around me.. and how my family and friends always beside me. i've grown up. yes grown up. and i'm ready for the next battle fight.

Chasing Pavements

i've made up my mind, Dont need to think it over if i'm wrong, i am right dont need to look further

this ain't lust.. i know this love but, if i tell the world i'll never say enough 'cause it was not said to you and that's exactly what i need to do.. if i end up with you

or should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements? even it leads nowhere or would it be waste even if i knew my place should i leave it there

i build myself up and fly around in circles waitin' as my heart drops and my back begin to tingle

finally, could this be..... it

been so long....................................................i'm a medical student ;;) your future dentist

yes, am i that strange to you? we haven't seen each other for longtimes and. now i know u soon gonna leave. ga ada artinya ya pacaran hampir 2 tahun. semua yang bagus2 ketutup sama yang ga enak-ga enak. take care ur self in there. jangan suka jajan2 ga sehat, jangan lupa makan sama olahraga, jangan ayam mulu !! kurangi emosi jangan terlalu emosi. jangan bandel2, jgn lupa surabaya kan panas suka pusing kan kalo kepanasan? pake topi ya. obat ayah lo yang mujarab jangan lupa dibawa. tetep harus rajin sholat puasa senin-kamis dan yang penting jangan lupa belajar yang rajin biar IP-nya bagus. makasih ya atas support lo selama hampir 2tahun finally kesampaian juga FKG meski engga di UI. makasih bgt. masih suka sedih kalo inget omongan2 khayalan2 kita dulu. semoga lo masih inget. dan selalu inget. i hope i will see u soon.

SEE I MAKE IT MOM DAD SIST FRIENDS YOU GRANDMA AUNT UNCLE COUSIN

in last two years we've been talk about our dreams your dream my dream.. remember oneday when i hold ur hands and said "we'll make it", i've been thinking a lot lot lot.. i give up on you is not that i want to. i just know that the fact u dont want this anymore. and i always thingking that maybe That day will come.. do you knoe whenever i go to some places i do thinking about u about us. what the place remind me of.. always pop-up in my head "do i really regret this?" for letting go my self from "complicated-realitionship", sometimes i feel so strong, i feel so much hate u for everything "wrong" that u done to me.all the lies. but everythings is back over and over again. i have to face the fact that i still love you. and it's not your fault or my fault it's our fault. we do hurt each other. im freaking insane rite.. i mean i do go crazy, like i always find a way to move on blocking u from my life. but everything is useless. do u know i'm hurting so much the fact you try to hook up with another girls, i went my self crazy dying to know but end up pathetic. how long that we've not been talk to each other we supposed to sharing our day. say sweet things. dont u ever miss it. the way u hold my hand touch my hair hug my body. kiss my lips. Our dreams that we shared together.. do u know that u're "the first".. well i got the answer... "we can't never force someone" but what can i do?

the beatles- i will

who knows how long i've loved you, you know i love you still.

will i wait a lonely lifetime,if you want me to.. i will

for if i ever saw you i didn't catch your name but it never really mattered

i will always feel the same

love you forever and forever love you with all my heart love you whenever we're together love you when we're apart

and when at last i find you,your song will fill the air, sing it loud so i can hear you

make it easy to be near you, for the things you do endear you to me

oh you know, i will

i will

i'm afraid that someday D-day will come, the day that i getting used to without you... days with no remember-ing you. i dont want that day come. i will wait. until there's no reason left for me. more than 1000++ reasons. even u with someone else. just see. i'll be waiting for u

i've lost my phone ! :'( aaaaaaaaaaaaa mau nangis 2tahun lebih tu hape nemenin gw hampir mau 3 tahun malah tahun ini. device memory-nya itu loh ya Allah pgn nangis, banyak foto ini itu yg cuma ada di device memory.. udah nangis deng ini.. great i lose it. i lose my university i failed and i lose you. yeah you :'( lengkap kap sudah semuanya ilang. ilang. the worst thing is that u dont reply my fcbok msg. damn i miss you. the one who always calmed me down. im freakin out.. foto :( foto yang cuma ada di situ bukti, bukti kalo dulu lo pernah sama gue. lo pernah sayang sama gue.... damn i lose it. like i lost u. and i cry like stu. :'( it's been 3 months and i cant get over it.

Baby you'll soon forget about all,or maybe you'll miss it like i do.

one thing's for sure i'm on doibt, spend too much time thinkin' of you

and i can't get u out of my dreams,now i know that you're the dangerous kind and ur smile tatotted on my mind

don't wanna write, i dont wanna call i would not know what to say it should be you, that's how i want it to be

tell me you feel the same way- Tattooed on my mind

just try again one more time, make it better start over new. we can make it. u just have to believed

mas, katanya tambah gondrong ya. maco dong? wuu tau aja gue suka yang maco2. ohiya mas kenapa ya apa yang lo nasehatin ke gw itu selalu bener?... makanya gw suka kesel. hahah sebatu apapun gw. gw tetep dgrin nasehatin lo kok-mas dan gw jalanin meski sebel tapi gw emg orangnya gt mas,mas-mas kalo gw lg skt selalu inget lo deh haha. mas mas kangen nih emm.. kgn lo nge-jayus kgn lo yang manja2. kgn lo cerita-in ttg zenius2 gw dgrin tau mas... meski suka ga nyambs. hhhh knpsi mas lo ngeselin plus ngangenin segala cara udh dilaku-in untuk ga inget2 lo... tuhkan mas nyamber2nya jadi emosi. btw mas-mas gw tkt bgt loh.. h- brp gatau nih... iii kbyg kan pasti lo mas gimana deg2an nya gw. dgr2 dr ibu-nya si mas. mas snmptn kmrn lancar yah? asikdah gw yakin 85persen lo pasti jadi anak ITB gw nih mas... kayaknya sur. bingung deh mau pasrah tapi jujur ngarep. hufpt. maaaaaaas kangen yaolo. plis dong nyanyi2 akon-dewa oiyaa haha gw kgn RUDE-BOY plus gaya lo mas pemanasan sebelum renang. ciye yang atlet renang. mas maas duuh. susah bgt si nyari yang kayak lo-mas. mas2 gw masih ada di list doa lo gasih? mas lo suka nge-kepoin gw ga? gw udah gatau lg nih kabar lo gimana?? baik2 ajakan ya masi rajin puasa kan ya? ohiya mas2 lagi pdkt sm si doi ya? haha semangat ya mas. sukses bgt sih mas bikin aku patah hati. mihihi yaudadeh mo bobo dulu. gw kangen lo mas !!!! bls ya hiks, seperti biasa kita emang hany

a mampu bertemu di mimpi. adios !

that pict :')

Dear Confused Graduate,

There must be something in the water, because I've had a TON of girls email me with this question: how do I get over someone? Seeing as this is something I have a bit of experience with myself, I'm going to lay it out for y'all.

Do you want the good news or bad news first? Bad news? What, you're a glutton for punishment? Okay, buckle up.

You know that annoying cliche about how time heals all wounds? Well, it's true. The biggest thing that will help you get over someone is just the passing of every day. You can eat a lot of ice cream, write bad poetry, listen to sad songs, and grow your bangs so long no one sees your face, but I once read that it takes six months to really start to get over someone. It's definitely been true in my life, every time. Why six? No clue. But it's true.

So you need to get your butt to the six-month mark. I would bet my dog that in six months you won't feel the way you do right now. And I love my dog, people. I love my dog.

The good news: It's not always going to feel as bad as it does right now. For serious. You won't even have to wait six months for that. If you're having a really horrible day, the kind where your skin is burning with how much you miss and want and can't live without this person, keep telling yourself this: it won't always feel like this. It won't always feel like this. And it won't. Promise.

Here's some more good news: you've got a lot of energy right now. You probably don't realize it, because you're channeling it all into obsessing about this person. So take the energy and use it to try something new. Cooking? Running? Glass blowing?

My worst getting-over experience led me to start playing tennis. The sport introduced me to new people, got those exercise endorphins flowing so I felt better, and made me a little happier during a dark time. The next time you want to mope, or make a collage of every picture you have of this person, stop. What else could you be doing right now?

Finally, remember this: right now, it feels like there will never be another person like this one - who will like or love you, who you will like or love back. I get it. I've been there. But I'm old enough to tell you it's not true, and know that I'm right. Yes, even you (no matter how much of a freak you think you are, trust me on this) will find someone else. It's not that different from a friend divorce. After you split with a friend, you almost always make a new one. That's how it goes in romance when you're young.

So hang in there by getting out there and doing something. This will end, and you will be okay.

Rachel

Philophobic

"yas, gila sakit hati gue sesekbgt woy, serah deh dibilang berlebihan or 'get a life please' sumpah gw takut gamau lagi suka dan terikat gamau lagi kalo harus ngadepin yang nama-nya diselingkuhin berantem sampe sayang dan putus gamau lagi terikat. pokonya gw gabisa titik that's why yas, tiap gw pengen nyoba sama hal "itu" dengan orang baru gabisa yas, balik lagi semua flashback yang ga enak-in yang akirnya berakir dgn 'pathetic'. "

"itu nama-nya lo Philophobia"

Philophobia- kalo dalam bahasa inggris namanya "fear for falling in love or being in love" The risk is more acute, when you have confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love in the past.

bawaan-nya tiap mau mencoba suatu relationship selalu aja curigaan mulu,

Beberapa faktor seseorang menjadi Philophobia:

a. seseorang itu pernah merasaakan perlakuan yang tidak menyenangkan dalam suatuhubungan

b.sesorang itu pernah melihat orang lain yang tersiksa karena hubungan ,sehingga dia tidak ingin hal itu terjadi pada dirinya

c.karena optimis membayangkan sesuatu yang diinginkan,tidak akan tercapai

d.tidak percaya pada diri sendiri dan orang lain karena sering merasa dikecewakan

e.di khianati oleh orang yang dicinta

f.menjalin hubungan dengan orang lain tidak berhasil, dll

orang Philophobia disatu sisi punya rasa percaya diri yang tinggi atau sebaliknya,punya rasa percaya diri yang rendah, percaya diri tinggi- perfectionist, baru melihat sedikit aja kesalahan atau kekurangan si gebetan langsung 'over thinking' dan say-goodbye. dan kembali lagi trauma akan masa lalu. akibatnya 'stuck' gabisa menjalani hubungan dgn orang lain

dan pada saat percaya diri mereka rendah biasanya selalu nyalahin diri-nya dan kekurangan-nya. "apa gue kurang cantik,kurang putih,kurang manis,kurang kaya, kurang langsing?, kurang baik?" sekali lagi berujung mengasiani diri sendiri

Defining The Problem
Philophobia is defined as the abnormal, persistent and unwarranted fear of falling in love.

Every year, the phobia causes countless people needless distress and so many abstain from getting emotionally involved.

A restless feeling of being betrayed in love pricks you and unrests your mind. You do not feel emotionally secured in life. This eventually affects the quality of life and pushes you away from any sort of commitment.

It also triggers various symptoms in you that may incorporate sweating, irregular heartbeat, shortness of breath, feelings of dread, nausea and feeling of restlessness.

The worst thing about fear of being in love and falling in love is that it keeps you apart from your loved ones and drives you to a painful solitude.

You feel alone but every time a situation arises for commitment, you get panic attacks.

The symptoms are very irregular and vary from person to person. These include sweating, nausea, rapid breathing, shortness of breath, feelings of dread and extreme fear of not being able to live up to promises.

Reasons Giving Rise To The Problem
Bitter experiences of the past maybe a crucial reason why you do not want to get tangled into a relationship again.

You may fear rejection and that pose as a great reason of embarrassment that deters you from even getting involved with anyone.

apasih, jatoh lagi jatoh lagi baru seminggu gue coba nafas lagi,selo-selo lagi.. kenapasih? sekali lagi gue harus bgn nangis-nangis.. jrit masalahnya tu mimpi (kayak) beneran.. i mean you and her ? ketebak. dan nyesek bgt rasanya, super blo'on lo-nya itu cuma mimpi. gimana kalo itu nanti jadi nyata? lo harus strong bego.. tapi sumpah di mimpi itu aja gw ga nyadar kalo gue lagi mimpi. se-akan lo-dia ngasi "message" ke gue. damn!.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSdELZxEnHY&feature=youtu.be

strangers 1.meeting 2.the chase 3.honeymoon 4.comfortable 5.tolarance 6.downhill 7.breaking up 8.strangers again

nama? panggilan sekalian

-vanya dean suprapto panggil nia atau nya atau van atau vanya panya apadeh serah asal jangan vany ! benci bgt

gi aps?

-bengong

hobinya apa?

-bengong

status?

-single fighter sob

pekerjaan?

-pengacara pengangguran ga ada acara !

alamat?

- di deket dufan pokonya <3 sunter

no televon?

-085615635**

masih tinggal sama orangtua

-masih dong i love papamama somuch

sekolah dimana ngomong2?

-SMAN 8 JAKARTA ! AND I SURVIVED

mau lanjut kuliah di?

-jika memang itu yang terbaik insya Allah FAKULTAS KEDOKTERAN PADJAJARAN

oh amin ya amin, tempat konkow dimana?

-dimana-mana yang penting cama temen-temen

are u smoker?

-nope !

describe ur physical appereance dong?

-157 cm 47 kg kalo abis makan jadi 47.5 ha!, hitam(tapi manis loh ;p) long straight hair. cari aja muka-muka bengong

describe ur own personality?

50% defensive 50%sabar(amin !) sensitif. egois. ambisius. terlalu banyak hati dari pada logika cuma satu yang gw banggain dari sifat gw setia. hahaha seriously

udah pernah pacaran?

-emmmmmmm..... emm udah :D

-pernah sakit hati?

yapernah lah !kalo kata luthfie bigbrother "hewan doang yang ga pernah sakit hati"

how u deal with that?

-berdoa aja kepada Allah SWT...

kalo lagi kangen sama orang ngapain?

-asli gw peluk bantal gw ajak ngomong sambil gw gigit2in

sekarang lagi sibuk apa?

-dibiyyyangin pengganguran gajelas sampe tanggal 30juni

lagi deket sama siapa gitu? (lawan jenis ya)

-tau nih akir2 ini gw masih ragu sama orientasi gw ahahha canda... engga ga ada kan setia

terakir nangis kapan?

-kemarin. eh apa tadi shubuh ya lupak

kenapa?

-biasa luka yang masih nganga..

move on dong

-asli lo orang ke 1000.... yang gw tanya balik. apa definisi move on? dan no one answer that question exactly.

pain

what is pain?

-my first, You

what the triggers pain?

-memories of you

what can heal pain?

-maybe time?

what lengthness pain?

-martyrdom

what is the initial sign of pain

-tears

what is the primary defense mechanism of pain

-denial

what is the primary stressor of pain

-theme song

what is the history of pain

-break up

how can you remove pain

-emm maybe let go? i dont know

how can you forget pain?

-people said, move on? but how? tell me

waiting is painful forgetting is painful but not knowing which one to do is the most kind ofsuffering.. you never know how strong you are until stay strong is the only choice do you have

i heard,That you're settled down...That you Found a girl..And you're Married now
I heard,That your dreams came true..Guess she gave you things...I didn't give to you
Old friend,Why are you so shy? Ain't like you to hold back...Or hide from the light
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded. That for me it isn't over.....

Never mind,I'll find someone like you..I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead."
Sometimes it lasts in love

You know how the time flies,Only yesterday,It was the time of our lives...We were born and raised
In a summer haze, Bound by the surprise....Of our glory days
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Nothing compares,No worries or cares Regrets and mistakes,They are memories made..Who would have known,How bittersweet this would taste?- i miss u

the more i comfort my self, the more i cry.. even if i rub away my tears secretly the memories are spreading to other memories making me cry with a painful heart im really sorry i'm sorry, i'm sorry for these words are too late i'll wait for u without a sense of honor... will u return tomorow by chance

I miss my ........ ,one night he used to call me on the phone, and when I asked him why. he told me "i just want call to say i love you" he wanted to hear my voice. I miss my ...... ,The smell of his shampoo and perfume . The way he could always convince me to keep have faith and spirit.When you love someone like I loved him, there’s a part of you it’s like you’re attached by this invisible tether, and no matter how far away you are you can always feel them. And now every time I reach for that tether I know there’s no one on the other end, and I feel like I’m falling into nothingness. And then I remember ......., I remember a life lead with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I’m inspired to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my........so much it feels like piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I want to hold him. Just ten more seconds— is that too much to ask? For ten more seconds to hold him? But I can’t and I won’t and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness is that........would kill me if I did. So for now I’m just going to miss ....... I love you......

i copied that from sue's speech. and that's really how i feels. and would you fill that blank?

if i keep searching the happyending i never get it right, but how many times will it take to get right? why waiting for someone really hurting.

you showed up in my dream, like it was you.. i swear in the name of god. it looks like "the real you". even in my dream you told me. that it's over.and even my own dream u could makes me cry.

"Am I better off dead?,Am I better off a quitter? They say I'm better off now...Than I ever was with him, As they take me to my local down the street... I'm smiling but I'm dying trying not to drag my feet,They say a few drinks will help me to forget him...But after one too many I know that I'm never
Only they can’t see where this is gonna end,They all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense
And my mates are all there trying to calm me down,..Cause I'm shouting your name all over the town ..I'm swearing if I go there now...I can change his mind turn it all around
And I know that I'm drunk but I’ll say the words,And he'll listen this time even though they’re slurred
Dialed his number and confessed to him.. I'm still in love but all I heard... Was nothing
So I stumble there, along the railings and the fences,i know if I faced his face, that he'll come to his senses...Every drunk step I take leads me to his door... If he sees how much I'm hurting, he'll take me back for sure"
Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing... you're coming down, your hands are shaking,When you realize there's no one waiting

hari ini banyak berita duka, semuanya ngebuat pala gue pusing.. seriously? this heart is beating faster..gue takut. why anything should frighten me right now? i should face the death with laugh.crap. seriusdeh kalo misalnya lo masih punya orang yang lo sayang yang SETIA disamping lo, selalu cheer- you up kalo misalnya lo ada masalah.. atau cuma sekedar bbm "lagi apa kamu?, jangan lupa makan ya nanti sakit" yang masih rela minta maaf padahal jelas2 elo yang salah. yang udah tau sama semua sifat jelek lo dan sabar ngadepin lo.. ngacak2 rambut lo meski lo ga suka.. lo cubitin tapi dia mau padahal dia tau itu sakit, yang suka marah dan larang2 lo ini itu masih usaha nemenin lo kemana-kemana,yang masih bisa ngomong "i love u" padahal lo ambekin mulu. gimana kata2 "hi how are you today ?" yang harusnya itu adalah kata2 biasa.. someday lo bakal kangen ditanyain gitu..gimana itu kata2 singkat ternyata berharga banget buat jalanin hari-hari lo. JANGAN LO PERNAH SIA-SIA-in lo ga bakal tau kalo suatu hari nanti dia bakal cape bosen dan pergi selama-lamanya ninggalin lo. dan lo cuma bisa nangis. nerima kenyataan yang ada. berharap pun engga bisa.

dan bahwasanya pada hari ini saya adalah menyadari kalo saya, masih belum bisa over.. i'm not that easy dude. i'm sorry. and i know. i can't expect more than this. baru nyadar bgt tiada hari selama sebulan lebih ini bangun tidur tanpa engga nangis pas sholat shubuh. maupun sholat isya mau tidur ataupun lagi bengong baru nyadar bgt kalo misalnya gue butuh bgt kata2 "hi apakabar kamu? udah makan belum udah belajar?" apalagi nerima kenyataan kalo misalnya dia udah punya "calon" yang lain. it's totally clueless we'll never be the same again.. ikhlas? ya saya ikhlas nerima kenyataan. tapi gue ga bisa boong. kalo emang rasanya ngebuat gue sesek nafas.berarti gue belum ikhlas?

even in the crowded place i still feeling so lonely.. gue tau banyak hal yang harus gue pikirin dari ini tau banget .. but this is just the another world of me. kalo semua ini adalah berarti, "nunggu" gue bakal nunggu. karena cuma itu yang bisa gue lakuin sekarang. gatau nunggu waktu ataupun nunggu lo.. atau nunggu luka ini ketutup. gue mau nunjukin sama apa yang artinya "setia". when u can't get what u want, u'll always can get me.. i will wait whatever it takes. even i know it impossible or u with her. i'm gonna wait.

Lately gw telah Mengihandari "a big heavy conversation" sama mama and it did. Really hurts my heart. Maaf ma. Ga tega Nia. Ada saatnya ga sekarang. i know u hurting right now. maafya.